Actually I meant to write something on it after I finished reading the novel a few weeks ago, but decided to hold out until I watch the movie instead to see if anything else came up to me. Regarding the movie itself, Kate Winslet looks really old and out of shape while Leonardo DiCarpio looks as charming as ever. I honestly don't know what's up with this Hollywood male leads thing, all the male actors all look so fucking charming/handsome/stylish. I guess that didn't really came out right haha.
You'd think that the dilemma that the Wheelers were facing would only exist in present times. Afterall, they always say that things were much more simpler back then. So what's the problem then, the Wheelers were somewhat ahead of their time? I don't think they would stand out as much if they were living in present times for sure.
I think one thing that really struck me from the novel, not so much the movie, is the irrationality of love. You can love someone so much that you're willing to do anything for him/her, you can be so attracted by one person that everything he/she does is perfect in your eyes. But the moment something somewhere changed, you'll see that person in an entirely different light. All the flaws would suddenly be visible and nothing he/she does will seem right anymore. And the worst thing is you don't even know what has changed or where has gone wrong. Maybe you can attribute it to having a bad day, a mood swing. But honestly, there's just no rational explaination when it comes to love, or the lack of it. Love itself promotes and often results in irrational behaviour, thinking and attitude. And it's form and shape is everchanging so you never really grasp it, even though you might think you have.
Then there's the other thing about the "hopeless emptiness" of the life you hate to but is forced to lead. Honestly, I don't think Frank is as special as he thinks he is, or as April is. April is what I'd call a true maverick who's living ahead of her time although whether that is a good or bad thing is still very debatable. Frank is perhaps just, a few steps away from greatness but simply not there yet. It's pretty obvious that April is the one who's bullying Frank and despising him because he can fit in while she'll never do. Is April insane? Maybe to a certain extent. If given a choice, I don't think I'll dare to think or be as insane as she is. How far am I away from greatness? Very, very far as it would seem.
I'm feeling a little confused at the moment. I'm trying to rationalise everything before falling too deep in because honestly, I don't really know if I want anything to come out of it myself either. Perhaps to say the very least, I just want to enjoy the ride while it lasts. I mean, when a guy dates a girl, why must it always be a serious boyfriend-girlfriend type of relationship right? What's up with the official status tag anyway. At the moment, all that matters to me is that I have fun and enjoy spending time with her and she kinda feels the same too (I HOPE) so we can just carry on this way until we're really sure we should be dating exclusively. Besides, as far as I know, she's not that into me anyway. I don't know how to convince her that she's not giving me false hope or is possibly hurting me or anything by going out with me because it's really nothing of that sort. Maybe she thinks it's my ego that's preventing myself from admitting it, but I'm not afraid of admitting anything. I really do like her anyway. The thing is, I feel so much better with our present arrangement, just "dating" and enjoying each other's company without all the commitment and bullshit.
I don't have to go killing myself thinking of how to spice up the relationship when it's getting a tad too mundane; I don't have to feel guilty when I hang out with or think of other girls; I don't have to be responsible for every single little shit she does be it right or wrong; I can just enjoy this whole "dating" process with no strings attached. People always say it's the wooing phase that's the most exciting part. I certainly agree, so why bother if anything good would come out of it at the end? So long as everyone have fun that's the most important thing. I don't think I'm ready yet for another relationship anyway, but that's taking things a little too far I guess. Just strap on, go for the ride, enjoy everything that comes my way and see where it takes me at the end of the day.
Anyway, back to reality, today is officially my last day in STC. Reporting to Amoy Quee Camp tomorrow already. New camp, new unit, new life! Wish me luck everyone.
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