I'm living with faggot dawgface fuckers.

I think I'm really someone who values logic, rationality and sensibility a lot and it really frustrates me when people around me can't make any sense. I was damn pissed for 5 seconds and totally went red but a thought flashed across my mind and I cooled cause I realised that it was something that I can never change. No point getting pissed about it.

My grandma told me just now that my uncle they all decided to move house to Sembawang and fuck I used to do volunteer there it's like totally inconvenient to everything I'm doing now. Moreover landed property usually very deep in wanna get to MRT station also troublesome. So I asked my uncle if it's true and said that it's very troublesome for us ask if he could find another place. This is his reply:

"Ya can. You tell me how much you wanna chip in for the rent here? That's the only place I can afford whereby the rent is only $2000+ everywhere else is $4000+. I've already decided and have placed a deposit."

Looking at his fucking fat gay face saying all this really made me damn pissed, like challenging me to move out or pay for the rent which he knows I can't. So ok I know there's nothing I can do so I just LL walked away.

Actually ok I understand where he's coming from. The property market really hot so rents are all rising and he has to keep all these dogs so he can't rent a HDB flat either. So standing in his gay shoes this is probably the best he can do. BUT wait, he's always saying that he's getting this big job that's paying $7-8k monthly and he's spending all these money on rubbish ornaments and his fucking gay partner and he's saying he can't pay anything anymore? He definitely ultimately HAS to keep all these dogs? It's like saying his mother (my grandma) and me can't even compare to his dogs. Ok maybe I can't afterall I'm just a nephew. What about my grandma? His own mother? Giving her $50 a month and she gotta buy his meals pay the phone bills and shit?

And all the while my mum just sit beside dun dare to speak a word. Why? Because they are on the same side. He has to provide for his gay partner, while my mum has to provide for the gigolo she's keeping. I don't even see my dad more than 3 times a month so he's not even a factor. My mum has never given my any money since primary school and even now that we are living together. Maybe last time we didn't stay together she can say she don't see me everyday no chance to give me. Apparently she thinks that her son is some godlike being who can survive without earthly objects such as money. It's ok cause I've gotten used to it and it's not like I can expect anything from them. All these are things that neither me nor my grandma can change again. I gotta admit I was disappointed at how my "family members" are behaving, but then I remember that they are not myfamily, just people lending my grandma and I a shelter so really nothing should and could be expected from them.

The thing that I'm really pissed about is that I still got a few more months of poly left and then still gotta serve NS before can start working. Recently school got this career talk people from ACCA and KPMG etc. came and got me thinking about the future. After today, the future seems so certain for me. No more university, no more wasting time. It's gonna be straight to work after NS. Why? Because I wanna get my grandma and I out of this shelter that they seemed to be giving us out of pity and not anything else, and I know I'm better than all these and definitely my grandma deserves more than what she's getting.

I can't blame them cause it's their lives and that's the way they have chosen to live it. But they gotta bear the consequences, and that is being a fucking gay my uncle will never have offspring. That way when he's old, no one's gonna take care of him. If he's gonna ask for money from me, I'm gonna spend all the spare money I have keeping pigs and dogs and cats and whatever but he's definitely not gonna get a cent from me. Same goes to my mum. She's like 48 now so I don't think she will have another child with the gigolo. So my mum, her gigolo, my uncle and his gay partner can all hug together and die with their dogs 10-20 years from now while I look on from a better place.

Ungrateful maybe, cause afterall they're providing grandma and me with a shelter to live in for the time being. But ungrateful is exactly how they've been to my grandma and that's exactly what they're gonna get from me. Maybe I'll go to hell for having this kind of thinking or doing what I'm gonna do in the future, but I don't mind cause I know I'll definitely see them there too.

Forgive and forget? No fucking way. Especially to my family. No fucking way.