X'mas, Boxing Day rather.

It's that time of the year again whereby there's supposed to be lotsa love, lotsa laughter, lotsa merry-making and most importantly, lotsa presents. Then again I don't really celebrate xmas so it's got nothing much to do with me. Let me tell you how I spent my xmas this year.

I woke up at around 1230pm, ate lunch, played Star Ocean on my psp until around 3plus, slept again until 7pm, woke up for dinner, came back pack my bags for today and went to sleep at around 11pm. That's it. What a holiday huh.

And how many people sms/call to wish me merry xmas? Only one! And that's Fel. HAHAHA. Aren't you honoured Fel? Then again, how many people did I sms/call to wish merry xmas? Answer: Zero. Except replying to Fel. You get the rough idea about my life don't you.

Okay okay so you're thinking I'm a lonely, grumpy and miserable dude. I think so too sometimes. But even if I am, I don't have to act or behave all lonely, grumpy and miserable right? That's how I convinced myself to head down to Zouk on Xmas eve even though I really ought to ground myself due to my very severely tight finances. It's the holidays! I knew I had to cheer myself up...somehow. So I went down with Liting and met up with Samuel and his friends who are incidentally all MY friends now. All I had was a Bourbon Coke cause I'm honestly too broke to drink. Guess it's been a long while since I last left Zouk sober.

Not drunk bo bian, gotta zi-high on the dancefloor to keep myself occupied. Poor people will know what I mean. Btw I sound really noob saying this but I totally loved standing in the middle even though it's very squeezy. Why? Because periodically the smoke will start spewing out from somewhere and it's so thick it covers your face and totally renders you visionless for around 10 seconds. Damn I sound sick but I feel really high when the smoke is in my face and I can't see shit with the loud bass and music thumping.

Yes this sounds really loserish and wrong. Anyway yep that's about all there is to my holidays. I'm not gonna go anywhere on the new year's holidays. Not anywhere happening anyway. I'm determined to ground myself this time round.

My course so far in STC is like...a little back to school for me. It's all lectures and projects and discussions for the first 2 months I heard. The last 2 months will be reserved for OPs. Okay, not too bad, but sometimes it's really very very school-like and it's pretty tough not to fall asleep. We can sleep all we want during our lectures back when we're really in school, but definitely not in our no. 4 uniform and the Major is the one giving the lecture. Not say I very garang wanna chiong lah but I think totally never chiong sua at all also quite sian. Should like chiong a little little bit then relac one corner for very long then is perfect. Maybe the last 2 months will be better, then again, I better be careful for what I wish for.

Gotta start staying in the week after next. Apparently last parade is at 6pm then dinner until 7pm zitao admin time all the way. The gym here really not bad compared to Tekong even though there's no bench press and squat rack. At least there're ample dumbbells. Maybe I oughta start training again to look for a way to spend time other than staring into my psp.

Aight back to the lonely, grumpy and miserable 'thang' I was mentioning earlier. I think one action summarizes my plight perfectly, and that's watching Love Actually alone in my room. Darn I loved that movie actually it's such a sweet movie to watch with a loved one. But I don't think I'll be good enough for that. It's all a big white lie. I'm never the one pushing people away, it's people who's pushing me away cause I'm not worthy enough for anything or anyone. And sometimes I get blinded by the false pretence people put up to make me feel otherwise. C'mon, you don't care about me. Don't pretend you do. Am I just an attention-seeking whore? Is that why I do the things I do, to try to get certain people to notice me? Perhaps. Is it working? Doesn't seem like it.

Man I'm starting to get this perma tobacco taste in my mouth I don't know if it's imaginary or what. Feels like I'm smoking or I've been smoking earlier when actually I'm not. Stinks, really. If it's not the worst smell in the world it's probably top 5 or 10. But I don't think I can fulfil my resolution of stopping after this pack in a while. In fact I said I'll stop after I finish my previous pack but turns out that cannot resist cause how to party without cigarettes? I'm more than halfway through this pack... okay, 1 more pack and I'll stop. Hope to get rid of the perma tobacco taste by then.

Xmas wish, or Boxing Day wish, if I'm entitled to any, would definitely be Man Utd beating Stoke City later on. Logically shouldn't be a problem, but Man Utd had drawn it's previous 2 winnable matches I believe and it's really time to start cashing in on those games in hand so the Top 2 don't run away. Grant my wish ol' Fergie c'mon.