'Cheat' Day

Today was a cheat day. Didn't carry out my cutting routine as planned cause after resting for a week I felt that my shoulder could handle weightlifting again. Damn, I just don't know when to quit. But it was a good day for lifting, esp squats and deadlifts. Ok, I'll take extra care when benching but hey, it's damn hard to do something religiously for a few months and then be forced to stop.

Anyway, had my typical bout of flu which typically for me transcends into a full-blown phlegm-filled cough and scratchy throat. Saw the doctor after gym today to get medicine in case it gets worse during the exam period. It's the usual drowsy medicine and I'm so damn drowsy now that I've taken it.

I'm gonna start on CSP today, it's weird but I really don't wanna spend anymore time on MA and AFA until the day before the paper itself. I've read through all the theory and memorised most of it, did all the past year papers and fuck I just cannot stand the self-doubts surfacing each time I think about it. So yea, that's it. CSP from now on, which I've totally not touched at all.

Caught a glimpse of the time machine channel 5 was airing last night or the night before can't really remember. It was sort of the climax and the villian was saying that the protagonist is haunted by the 2 most terrible words - What if. True, this 2 words are really very terrible. They can make your mind wander off into the realm of fantasies that will never come true, and leave you blinded to the blessings that is already within your reach. What if things had never turn out this way? What if I had done that? What if what if what if. Thankfully, I'm not haunted as the protagonist is. I think of the future and not the past.