Soon enough

I really can't find things to write about this week. No doubt it was jam-packed alright, drunk on Friday night, Sentosa on Saturday, hang with homies at night. Can't really remember what I did in camp during the week though, but that's only normal isn't it. I was so shagged yesterday that I just took the time off to stay at home to finish reading my book. Of course not before sleeping the whole day away at Steven's place. This routine's gonna be put on endless repeat for god knows how long but it's okay, at least it was fun while it lasted.

So I did it again, "ignoring her like a bitch and avoiding her like the plague". It's funny how one can't see something clearly when you're too caught up in the situation. Can you imagine? Same place same time one week on and the same thing happened. I behaved in the exact same manner that I promised I won't. But then again I didn't really ignore or avoid her. Ignoring her would mean not replying to her when she talks to me and we didn't even talk so it's not considered ignore. I can't be avoiding her too cause on more than one occasion I'm sitting right next to her or in front of her smoking or drinking. It's just called zero interaction. But whatever. I really didn't know I seemed so silly then and I'm sure it would've pissed her off. It would've pissed me off too if I'm gonna put myself in her shoes. I'm sorry, really. I swear the next time'll be different, that is if she still bothers to have a next time.

I think I put too much emphasis on winning and losing, or rather not coming through the whole thing looking like the loser. So what if I'd things my way? So what if I didn't? It doesn't have to matter if I don't let it. Seriously, and thankfully, I'm feeling much more laid back now and I guess that's the only thing I can do. Just watching everything pass me by without wanting to antagonize others or myself more.

It doesn't have to matter, really.