There's a thousand you there's only one of me.

I haven't been feeling well for the past 2 days, having the perennial blocked and runny nose and a little bit of a cold. Damn the aircon in the labs and MLT10 so freaking cold and the moment you step out it's so freaking warm, how can anyone don't fall sick under this kinda freaky conditions? It was pouring a few days back and I think I got caught in the rain too, so kinda explains it. Was feeling a little feverish during IAP and thought of skipping gym and going home to rest but I had second thoughts and went ahead to gym instead.

After sweating my ass out, I actually feel alot better. I guess that's the difference, I could choose to go home and sleep and wake up feeling like shit or I could drag myself over to the gym and work my ass off until I feel like shit. Lol, I like the second option better definitely. There's always a choice to everything. The rain can't stop me, the pain can't stop me, the fatigue can't stop me, the haters sure can't stop me, only I can stop me.

Choice. This word had been on my mind for the past week since I rewatched the 1st episode of Supernatural Season 2. The reaper, in the image of a girl in distress, tried to convince Dean to accept fate and what has happened and move on and all she got was a slight nod of the head + "Well, that's crap." I wish I could be like him and firmly believe in having a choice in everything and never bowing to fate. I'm trying and I'm determined to set myself straight by adopting this thinking and not leaving everything in someone else's hand, however almighty he might be.

The courage to accept what I can't change, the strength to change what I can and the wisdom to know the difference? I've been having this thinking lately, fate is a result of your choices. Agree? Feels like a firm subscriber to the Chaos Theory...rather unbecoming of a person who's holds logic and sensibility in high regard.

I really think that I'm not someone who can express my feelings for my loved ones in public to everyone else. For example you'll only hear me talking about the disadvantages about being attached, the loss of freedom blahblahblah but you'll seldom, if not never, hear me talk about how I enjoy being in love with dear. Do I not? Of course not! I just don't know how to say this kinda things. When I look at all the single people around me and the type of lives they're leading, I sure am glad I'm attached and if given a choice, I'd definitely rather be in love with dear than be single. Maybe that's why she sometimes feels unappreciated cause I don't mention much about her in my blog...well here's a shoutout again. Dear I love you and I'm just glad that you're by my side. No matter what I might say to others or what I might not say to you, you know this is the way I feel inside.

It's the same with, like the people who appear to be better than me. I don't love my present life and self to bits, but I don't exactly hate them either. I might whine a little and give props to others but deep down, I'm just glad that I am me and I don't envy them cause I feel that I'm much better? What's that, ego and hypocrisy or whatnot. I'm just happy with what I'm doing, where I am and where I'm heading to. I wouldn't wanna change my life or myself with anything or anyone else.

One way or another, this has gotta make me a happy person. Lol.