I don't believe in love.

It sort of ended today.

I told her I needed a break and that it would be better for both of us to split up awhile. I know she's upset, I'm upset too but I think I gotta do what's gotta be done. All these arguments and quarrels keep popping up out of nowhere and each passing time it just goes to show how different the 2 of us are. We think too differently, we act too differently and we expect too differently from each other. Granted, which couple doesn't quarrel, doesn't argue over the slightest things? It may just be a phase, or it may not. I really don't know. I just feel so bogged down recently and I really hate this feeling.

There'll never be 2 persons who are made for each other, like 2 pieces of jigsaw that fits perfectly together. There are bound to be incompatibility that results in disagreements, but it's love that smoothes the edges and brings 2 different personalities together. At the end of the day, it's all about compromise and forgiveness. That's love, but it's the same love that I can't bring myself to believe in anymore. Love can't change who I am and the dreaded feeling everytime we fight. Love can't change my inferiority complex that has done me in time and again.

Maybe our love is just not strong enough. Maybe more than anything else, I love myself more than I love you. I think this proves again that I was wrong when I entered into this relationship. I remember blogging then that it was the best time for me to enter into a new relationship because everything in my life was rather settled at that time. Now I know it's wrong. I'm not ready to commit. I'm not ready to put someone else before myself without feeling that it's not worth it. I'm not ready to believe in love as much as I would like to be.

I don't think I'll fall in love for a very long time again. Simply put, I don't understand love and I'm not buying what they're saying it is anymore.

I'm sorry.