It's a wrap.

I guess for something this big I gotta somehow talk about it a little here. How and where should I start? The reasons for the relationship ending?

I think the 2-year milestone was a watershed moment that made me realise that it won't work out between us. I don't know if I can speak for her, but to me it meant that we've been together for 2 years and we are the way we are. If anything's gonna change, it would've changed already within this period but they didn't. I didn't change and I don't think I ever can or will. I really feel very bad about myself, like I can't hold on to anything and everything's slipping me by because of my seriously flawed personality. Whatever it is, I'm really determined to leave this time and not waste any more of our time.

I find it quite laughable when people tell me they are envious of me because I seem to have alot of good stuff going on for me. Are you serious? Take a look at me. Nothing, nothing in this world can make up for what I fucking lack, my inadequacies.

I think I understand what Pink meant by "I'm my own worst enemy." I'm still here in spite of myself and I wonder do the people who know me knew how fucked I am. I really feel like digging a hole somewhere and just hide there and wait to die. With this high fever I think it's pretty possible.

I'm so so so fucked now and no one's saving me.